Mine has typically been “the imposter”. You’d have thought that after 20/30 now 40 years of doing this stuff he/she wouldn’t be there. But…
That said my good cop shoulder then says remember what your good buddy told you “just because you find it easy and obvious, doesn’t mean everyone or even most do”.
Different situational advice but I apply it to Mr Imposter & then tell him “bugger off, I don’t care what you think, I’m not referenced to seek external praise”, or words to that effect 😉
Hi Mark, thanks so much for sharing such a candid and relatable experience!
It's so powerful to hear that even after decades of experience, 'Mr. Imposter' can still try to make an appearance. I think many, many people will agree with that – it certainly highlights why moving beyond superficial fixes is so important.
I love the two-pronged approach you take!
1. The reminder from your buddy – "just because you find it easy and obvious, doesn’t mean everyone or even most do" – is a brilliant reframe. It directly speaks to recognising one's own hard-earned competence, a cornerstone of genuine confidence.
2. And then, the direct confrontation: telling Mr. Imposter to "bugger off" and crucially, "I’m not referenced to seek external praise." That's the essence of quiet confidence right there! It’s not about silencing the doubt forever, but about not letting it dictate your actions or your sense of self-worth.
Your approach is a fantastic real-world example of moving beyond just 'faking it' and instead, cultivating an internal locus of control and self-assurance rooted in your reality and values. It’s that inner dialogue and self-reliance, rather than constantly seeking external validation, that truly builds that steady, resilient confidence we discussed in the article.
Thanks again for adding such a valuable perspective to the conversation!
What a powerful reframing of confidence! Thank you for this, Keith. Your metaphor of a sapling growing steadily among towering trees leaves a nice impression on me. It beautifully captures how self-assurance can takes root in relation to daily, grounded practices of growth. How nice is that :)
I especially appreciate your invitation to separate our “who” from our “do.” That shift alone can help us make room for both competence and compassion as we evolve. And the phrase “confidence comes from being on the path” is a nice type of mantra that is usere friendly in the best sense. Thank you for articulating a vision of growth that’s both humble and empowering.
Thank you so much @Dr Bronce Rice for your great feedback on my latest post.
I'm glad my metaphor of the sapling growing amongst the other tall trees came across as I intended it to.
I know you love the outdoors, and often find yourself in those beautiful places where you live. Where I grew up, I often walked through the woods, saw saplings and took in the ambiance of the sheer quiet of those places with all the trees of the forest. It was my quiet reflective place, alone with my thoughts away from everyone... just beautiful ❤️
Yes, Keith, I do believe we are kindred spirits this way when it comes to nature. It has become the place where I can unwind, be myself and soak in all the wonder of all of creation so to speak. One of those few things in life that never lets me down, gives back to me in ways so needed in life and helps me feel grateful for the time I have participating in it.
Mine has typically been “the imposter”. You’d have thought that after 20/30 now 40 years of doing this stuff he/she wouldn’t be there. But…
That said my good cop shoulder then says remember what your good buddy told you “just because you find it easy and obvious, doesn’t mean everyone or even most do”.
Different situational advice but I apply it to Mr Imposter & then tell him “bugger off, I don’t care what you think, I’m not referenced to seek external praise”, or words to that effect 😉
Hi Mark, thanks so much for sharing such a candid and relatable experience!
It's so powerful to hear that even after decades of experience, 'Mr. Imposter' can still try to make an appearance. I think many, many people will agree with that – it certainly highlights why moving beyond superficial fixes is so important.
I love the two-pronged approach you take!
1. The reminder from your buddy – "just because you find it easy and obvious, doesn’t mean everyone or even most do" – is a brilliant reframe. It directly speaks to recognising one's own hard-earned competence, a cornerstone of genuine confidence.
2. And then, the direct confrontation: telling Mr. Imposter to "bugger off" and crucially, "I’m not referenced to seek external praise." That's the essence of quiet confidence right there! It’s not about silencing the doubt forever, but about not letting it dictate your actions or your sense of self-worth.
Your approach is a fantastic real-world example of moving beyond just 'faking it' and instead, cultivating an internal locus of control and self-assurance rooted in your reality and values. It’s that inner dialogue and self-reliance, rather than constantly seeking external validation, that truly builds that steady, resilient confidence we discussed in the article.
Thanks again for adding such a valuable perspective to the conversation!
Tbh it’s not 💯 foolproof, but good enough
Very true we gain confidence from competence 👍🌈
What a powerful reframing of confidence! Thank you for this, Keith. Your metaphor of a sapling growing steadily among towering trees leaves a nice impression on me. It beautifully captures how self-assurance can takes root in relation to daily, grounded practices of growth. How nice is that :)
I especially appreciate your invitation to separate our “who” from our “do.” That shift alone can help us make room for both competence and compassion as we evolve. And the phrase “confidence comes from being on the path” is a nice type of mantra that is usere friendly in the best sense. Thank you for articulating a vision of growth that’s both humble and empowering.
Thank you so much @Dr Bronce Rice for your great feedback on my latest post.
I'm glad my metaphor of the sapling growing amongst the other tall trees came across as I intended it to.
I know you love the outdoors, and often find yourself in those beautiful places where you live. Where I grew up, I often walked through the woods, saw saplings and took in the ambiance of the sheer quiet of those places with all the trees of the forest. It was my quiet reflective place, alone with my thoughts away from everyone... just beautiful ❤️
Yes, Keith, I do believe we are kindred spirits this way when it comes to nature. It has become the place where I can unwind, be myself and soak in all the wonder of all of creation so to speak. One of those few things in life that never lets me down, gives back to me in ways so needed in life and helps me feel grateful for the time I have participating in it.